|The lazy woman's peanut butter and chocolate chip cookie.|
I admit I’ve been sulking. One of the things that has gotten me through not being able to eat bread is that I can still eat cheese. Those days may be over. After Hilarie’s visit, I realized that I overdosed on cheese products, most notably from eating way too much of her fabulous cream cheese pie. I started getting sick again, and stayed that way for over a month. About two weeks ago, I gave up all dairy products to determine if that’s what’s caused me to be sick. If I try something dairy in the new year and get sick again, then it’s bye-bye dairy forever.
The first week was the worst. That was when I realized that all the things I love are made from milk products. I know that some say that the things you crave the most are actually what your body needs the least, and if that is true then dairy must be poison to me. I have been having daydreams about melted cheese on toast, lox with schmear, anything milk chocolate, and cheddar cheese in my chili. I would sell my cat at this point to be able to have pizza.
I didn’t think it would be so bad. Over the years, I’ve gotten used to soy milk in my coffee, and rice milk in my cereal. That wasn't difficult because I’ve never really liked milk, even when I was a kid. It was something about the aftertaste. Now I actually prefer soy in my coffee. But cheese of any kind…I never thought I’d have to give that up. I used to think I could live on bread, cheese and wine and be perfectly happy. Am I going to have to give up wine too?
So I’ve been reluctant to do any cooking. I spent so long figuring out how to make things well without wheat, and now I have to start all over again. Thank goodness there are people out there who have already gone through it and have posted great recipes on their sites.
Now I want chocolate. Unfortunately I still feel generally icky (although, on the icky scale, I believe it’s one point lower), so I don’t have the energy to cook a lot. I wanted chocolate chip cookies, but all that mixing and measuring just isn’t in my plan of moping and watching TV. Luckily, when it comes to making up unhealthy snacks that are easy to make and even easier to eat, I'm practically a professional. Plus, I can tell myself that even though I shouldn't be eating a thin rice cake slathered in peanut butter with GF-DF chocolate chips poured on top, it's still better than eating a bunch of cookies, right?